theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
