I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
