i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
