Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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