I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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