just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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