Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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