Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
