I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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