Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
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Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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