Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
