I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
