I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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