After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
