Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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