Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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