her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
