Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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