which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize