never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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