well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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