just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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