Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
