so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
