put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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