I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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