the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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