Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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