what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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