my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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