My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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