420 ftw
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
