Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize