I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
