THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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