Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
