so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
