there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
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all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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