Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
