actually, I'm a sock model
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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