i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
