Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
