I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
