True but thats because hes a fetus.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
