Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
