suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
