I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
