I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
