Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
