we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
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From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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