does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
