If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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