Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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