Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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