Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
