Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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