i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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